his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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