Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
