Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
