end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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