So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Randomize
