The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Umm I'm too high to move.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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