just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
