I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
