I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
