Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
