on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
