addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize