I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Well I just put wine in my tea
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
