My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I've blown a few things in my day
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Well I just put wine in my tea
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize