I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Randomize
