There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
In America we eat man semen.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
