Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you would pick up someone in the library
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
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