I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
