i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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