then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
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