This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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