i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
She's the barista slut.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
