I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
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