dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
