You made me cry and you don't even care
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
