I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
