thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
