so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
