I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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