and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
two words...techno handjob
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
