I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
