did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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