Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Randomize