I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
