Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
