Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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