Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
