OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
