Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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