Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
i believe in u and ur pee
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize
