and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I need water and some morals
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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