So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
