DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
