I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
