he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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