She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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