I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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