Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
