i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
