yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
