This is not my ceiling
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
