So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
