so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
