In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
