i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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