When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Randomize
