i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
