with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
