Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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